bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize
