Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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