I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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