I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
even my farts smell like vagina
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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