She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
