I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
