In the future we'll all be gay
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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