Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Boobs are out for the taking
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Randomize
