Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I don't think brook has ever known best
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
