are you still at the devil's house?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Slut skills are useful in every country.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
