Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
