last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
