Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
We need to get me chipped asap
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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