i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
