Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
