I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
