Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
i've created a new STD.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
