I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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