two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
50% drunk capacity currently
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
