85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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