am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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