thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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