so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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