Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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