Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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