he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
