I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
