I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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