margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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