I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
