i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Randomize
