i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Randomize
