Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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