I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
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I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
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The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
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