Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(330): View more from Ohio

so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.

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(541): View more from Oregon

I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?

(815): View more from Illinois

Quite the contrary. Sophistication.

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(914): View more from New York

my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip

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(425): View more from Washington

I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.

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The 17 Absolute Worst Divorces Imaginable
Read it at the TFLN blog
(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.

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(727): View more from Florida

The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.

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(865): View more from Tennessee

She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.

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(309): View more from Illinois

Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me

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(951): View more from California

you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.

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