Texts From Last Night

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  (806): View more from Texas

  pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?

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  (806): pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour? http://tfl.nu/u15d
  Replies (22) Good night (3118) Bad night (1113)
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  (949): View more from California

  dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat

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  (949): dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat http://tfl.nu/yghv
  Replies (18) Good night (4787) Bad night (608)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  You kept calling me your small dog last night.

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  (201): You kept calling me your small dog last night. http://tfl.nu/02jw
  Replies (6) Good night (929) Bad night (2983)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.

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  (203): You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly. http://tfl.nu/n1s3
  Replies (13) Good night (5904) Bad night (1243)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"

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  (503): He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy" http://tfl.nu/s0u1
  Replies (14) Good night (4246) Bad night (1150)
• Favorite

  (956): View more from Texas

  Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life

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  (956): Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life http://tfl.nu/cpkm
  Replies (13) Good night (2214) Bad night (774)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit

  (216): View more from Ohio

  There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.

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  (216): I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit (216): There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash. http://tfl.nu/emo5
  Replies (6) Good night (3419) Bad night (755)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.

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  (419): When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all. http://tfl.nu/xpv5
  Replies (7) Good night (1660) Bad night (590)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.

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  (440): Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits. http://tfl.nu/0lkb
  Replies (10) Good night (1065) Bad night (990)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball

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  (732): That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball http://tfl.nu/r3bp
  Replies (7) Good night (750) Bad night (780)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.

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  (270): I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once. http://tfl.nu/lr7p
  Replies (6) Good night (823) Bad night (470)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.

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  (661): I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera. http://tfl.nu/brbw
  Replies (0) Good night (533) Bad night (356)
• Favorite

  (620): View more from Kansas

  It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?

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  (620): It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more? http://tfl.nu/0gbc
  Replies (1) Good night (905) Bad night (429)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out

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  (443): i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out http://tfl.nu/wy5k
  Replies (2) Good night (504) Bad night (340)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.

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  (865): Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting. http://tfl.nu/jtae
  Replies (2) Good night (380) Bad night (262)

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