I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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