I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
