Texts From Last Night

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  (254): View more from Texas

  I see lights

  (512): View more from Texas

  Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.

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  (254): I see lights (512): Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home. http://tfl.nu/1708
  Replies (5) Good night (1426) Bad night (568)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  You're perfectly engineered for doggy style

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  (778): You're perfectly engineered for doggy style http://tfl.nu/minq
  Replies (25) Good night (5711) Bad night (721)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts

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  (214): I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts http://tfl.nu/860y
  Replies (20) Good night (3054) Bad night (619)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...

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  (856): in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee... http://tfl.nu/v0er
  Replies (63) Good night (5582) Bad night (610)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed

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  (205): I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed http://tfl.nu/lr4z
  Replies (18) Good night (2110) Bad night (3974)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.

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  (360): Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe. http://tfl.nu/jop2
  Replies (23) Good night (6709) Bad night (928)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting

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  (201): i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting http://tfl.nu/qjw5
  Replies (7) Good night (1179) Bad night (3957)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.

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  (318): I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter. http://tfl.nu/35y3
  Replies (11) Good night (3967) Bad night (981)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.

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  (317): Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success. http://tfl.nu/9gb8
  Replies (9) Good night (3885) Bad night (1153)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  no. 1 rule of bromania: no females

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  (215): no. 1 rule of bromania: no females http://tfl.nu/0toi
  Replies (14) Good night (1030) Bad night (2175)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."

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  (204): All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday." http://tfl.nu/uy4c
  Replies (5) Good night (1123) Bad night (1407)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.

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  (406): Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit. http://tfl.nu/3sfk
  Replies (14) Good night (3658) Bad night (816)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?

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  (407): When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad? http://tfl.nu/v8ru
  Replies (8) Good night (1514) Bad night (562)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM

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  (+61): A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM http://tfl.nu/lo1g
  Replies (2) Good night (713) Bad night (282)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.

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  (501): When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot. http://tfl.nu/as5j
  Replies (1) Good night (989) Bad night (259)

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