so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
The 17 Absolute Worst Divorces Imaginable
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.