Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
His nipple licking is glorious
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
