Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
We won't sleep together?
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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