If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
