you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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