his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize