there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
