I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
