you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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