He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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