Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I skipped work to stalk him.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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