Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
The uberlube is also flammable
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.