Texts From Last Night

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  (317): View more from Indiana

  you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.

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  (317): you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american. http://tfl.nu/y2yd
  Replies (24) Good night (6482) Bad night (1241)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.

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  (303): It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac. http://tfl.nu/tpbw
  Replies (28) Good night (1230) Bad night (12803)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  just looked at his mug shot... not really my type

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  (208): just looked at his mug shot... not really my type http://tfl.nu/kmub
  Replies (5) Good night (846) Bad night (4156)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.

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  (513): So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand. http://tfl.nu/k6dt
  Replies (26) Good night (6772) Bad night (1343)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.

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  (507): He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in. http://tfl.nu/mt4b
  Replies (15) Good night (3607) Bad night (1023)
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  (361): View more from Texas

  Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.

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  (361): Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am. http://tfl.nu/g88o
  Replies (1) Good night (1210) Bad night (2254)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.

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  (508): he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table. http://tfl.nu/n2tk
  Replies (4) Good night (1843) Bad night (788)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.

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  (360): You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part. http://tfl.nu/6s9f
  Replies (7) Good night (2416) Bad night (703)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.

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  (573): I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon. http://tfl.nu/xp8x
  Replies (3) Good night (732) Bad night (1346)
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  (310): View more from California

  Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets

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  (310): Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets http://tfl.nu/hmgm
  Replies (3) Good night (1762) Bad night (448)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.

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  (574): i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand. http://tfl.nu/cuvt
  Replies (5) Good night (459) Bad night (351)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship

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  (815): Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship http://tfl.nu/8hbk
  Replies (4) Good night (704) Bad night (292)
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  (310): View more from California

  Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests

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  (310): Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests http://tfl.nu/hq9w
  Replies (0) Good night (641) Bad night (370)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Do you think the firemen will remember me?

  (315): View more from New York

  Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.

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  (617): Do you think the firemen will remember me? (315): Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants. http://tfl.nu/g199
  Replies (2) Good night (424) Bad night (466)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.

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  (417): People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty. http://tfl.nu/m1l5
  Replies (2) Good night (416) Bad night (165)

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