Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along. http://tfl.nu/9dyn
  Replies (22) Good night (4594) Bad night (616)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something? http://tfl.nu/rkwq
  Replies (29) Good night (697) Bad night (3525)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (701): Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this. http://tfl.nu/tncp
  Replies (22) Good night (1685) Bad night (3981)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented. http://tfl.nu/mdbr
  Replies (20) Good night (5790) Bad night (673)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home http://tfl.nu/ug2x
  Replies (77) Good night (7439) Bad night (704)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt http://tfl.nu/x2m1
  Replies (35) Good night (3353) Bad night (6730)
• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (626): i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen http://tfl.nu/216j
  Replies (4) Good night (2990) Bad night (1005)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands. http://tfl.nu/c22a
  Replies (4) Good night (2570) Bad night (666)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition. http://tfl.nu/ww1r
  Replies (9) Good night (1945) Bad night (631)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present... http://tfl.nu/f3rc
  Replies (8) Good night (575) Bad night (1439)
• Favorite

  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (339): 100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before http://tfl.nu/n0g6
  Replies (5) Good night (967) Bad night (414)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall. http://tfl.nu/yi3c
  Replies (3) Good night (753) Bad night (342)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow. http://tfl.nu/m6rb
  Replies (3) Good night (699) Bad night (244)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  "Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): "Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it. http://tfl.nu/6fe1
  Replies (0) Good night (643) Bad night (263)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES. http://tfl.nu/6ntk
  Replies (3) Good night (1036) Bad night (189)

Randomize