Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.