It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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