he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
