The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
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