shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
