I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize