why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
