good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize