Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
