I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
