So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Randomize
