i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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