I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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