I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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